Thursday, August 22, 2013

The one where I get mushy

Last weekend, I got to be a part of one of my best friend's weddings. I was so happy to be included because she is literally one of the kindest, most thoughtful people in the world. And I even love her (now) husband! I'm incredibly protective of my friends, and have been known to tell it like it is to their significant others if they aren't being treated well. That said, Cecil is a total keeper.

I'd be lying if I said I was just excited for the wedding. I was finally reunited with my best friends in the whole world, some of whom I haven't seen in 3 1/2 years. And it sounds lame, but being with my friends again made me feel so amazing and whole. I like to think we're the type of friends that can not talk for years and then pick back up in the same place like nothing ever happened.

My friends also happen to be my Alpha Phi sorority sisters. To those who are anti-sorority, hear me out. Some people say joining a sorority is buying friends. If this is the case, it was money well-spent. Sure there were people in my house that I didn't get along with. But to come away from the experience with 6 friends that I know would be there for me regardless of my life situation is worth everything to me. We're all very different people in all life situations. Some of us are getting married, some of us are single, and some of us have kids. We live all over the west coast, and yet you can throw us in a room for a weekend and it's the best thing ever. And as much as I love the friends I've made in Reno, there's absolutely nothing in the world that could ever replace them.

So between best friends, endless laughs with Mr. Bee, harassing underaged cousins, NINJA TURTLE ICE CREAM, intense photobooth seshes, and so much more, it was the best weekend I've had in the longest time, and one of my favorite weddings ever. I wish I could freeze time and live in last weekend.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Family Magazines

A few years ago, I started collecting Real Simple Family magazines. They only come out sparingly. The first time a magazine came out, I read every single word, looked at every advertisement, and tried to memorize the best way to parent our future children.

A few editions later, I've been hoarding them. I haven't opened them because it hurts too much to read about kids crafting activities and back to school shopping when I can't participate with my own children.

The newest magazine came in the mail today. I'm scared, but I have hope. I know that there may still be heartbreak, and there's no easy way to deal with disappointment. I'm still sad when seeing friend's with Facebook announcements about new babies, and even holding my friend's babies fill me with such a sense of sadness and longing. I want it so badly for me and Mr. Bee, and knowing that it could be so soon is giving me faith.

Our GS had her first baseline ultrasound on Friday and everything went great! She also started her estradiol valerate injections. I felt so bad because the monitoring clinic wouldn't show her how to do one beause she's not "technically" her patient. So hopefully I was able to send over enough YouTube videos to help her through her injections.

I seriously still can't believe that we're working with such an amazing person who is willing to endure the shots, blood draws, then grow our babies for us, and give them back. I can't deal with what a gift it is.

I may not read the magazinze today, but at least I have that I may read it soon. 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Somebody's Getting Married

Getting ready to drive up to the Bay tomorrow for one of my BFF's weddings! I can't wait to see her tie the knot! I'm seriously already emotional just thinking about it. Thank the Lord for waterproof mascara!

Off to celebrate!

It's all Happening!

Our surrogate got all of her medication today!

She has her baseline ultrasound tomorrow, so fingers crossed everything goes smoothly!

Friday, August 9, 2013

Jimmy Fallon - Newest Surro-Dad

Not to get all US Weekly on you, but I'm extremely happy that celebrities are coming "out-of-the-closet" to admit that they've used surrogacy. Surrogacy is weird. I always feel really awkward talking to people about it, but it's so important to talk about it and make it a "normal" thing. So, thanks Jimmy Fallon! I appreciate your honesty!

Read the article here.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Random Irrational Fears

I am not always the world's most rational person. In fact, I have many pretty silly irrational fears. Here are just a few.

This scares me just looking at it.

1. Bridges. Especially bridges over water. Not just troubled water, but any water.
2. Dark parking lots where I'm convinced someone will slice my Achilles like in I Know What You Did Last Summer.
3. Forgetting to wear underwear in public and fainting.
4. Spiders.
5. Being attacked while in the shower. I always think about my chances of survival if I get the water hot enough and blind the intruder. Does that really work?
6. Spiders.
7. People wearing masks. I have no idea why, I'm just not a fan. When I was 8 my cousin had a Power Rangers birthday party and hired people to dress up as masked bad guys. I kicked one of the guys in the crotch because I was so freaked out and my parents made me apologize.

I listed spiders twice. It wasn't a mistake. Here's my random scary story about spiders:

A few years ago, I went to a conference in Irvine (about an hour away from San Diego). It was in a more rural area, and it was summer, so I left my windows cracked so my car wasn't a billion degrees (mega foreshadowing).

At the end of the day, I got in my car to drive home. I settled in and just as I was about to drive off, I saw the hugest red spider I had ever seen hanging down over my face. So I did what any rational person would do and freaked out, ran away from the car, and went back inside to the conference to find a man who would get it of my car. I happened to run into one of our vendors, who I convinced to come to my car and find it. He looked over every inch of my car and didn't find anything, except the bag of lingerie that I'd recently acquired. We were both embarrassed.

I knew that the spider was still in my car, and had no idea how I'd get home, since my car had been hijacked. Somehow, I convinced the vendor to get in the car and drive me back to San Diego, so I'd have someone there when I got attacked. We drove for over any hour with no signs of the spider. I unwillingly dropped off said vendor and got on the phone with my dad while telling him the whole story.

I made it a block from my house, when I suddenly looked up and saw the spider ON MY WHEEL. So again, I acted completely rational and GOT OUT OF MY CAR AT A RED LIGHT. In the turn lane. My dad was yelling on the phone for me to get back in the car and the people behind me probably thought I was schizophrenic. I somehow managed to get the car across the street while steering the wheel the scariest spider I've ever seen was still sitting on it. I made it to the crosswalk and got out of my car again.

In the middle of my epic breakdown, a jogger comes by. By this time, I'm still in the road and in tears. He (while still jogging in place) asks me what the issue is. I told him there was a giant spider in my car and I couldn't do anything because I was basically going to die right there. Like it was nothing, he reaches into my car, grabs the spider (WITH HIS BARE HAND), throws it in the road, stomps on it, and jogs off without saying a word. Didn't even get to thank him for saving my life.

I know that's probably the most ridiculous story about spiders ever, and now everyone knows how completely insane I am. Also, it was like I didn't know that my caps lock was on for about half of that story. I did know, and it was needed. Because it was that frightening.

Do you have any irrational fears or ridiculous stories?

Monday, August 5, 2013

People are Blessings

Throughout this whole journey, there have been points where people give me so much hope. Besides my family and husband who have always been there for me, people have been extremely selfless.

Today I received an email from a girl I'd met online on a Surrogacy board. She lives in the area and has been my "mentor" through this time, giving me advice and walking me through the process. She's answered countless questions, and I've been extremely grateful.

Today I told her about our transfer date. She responded with this:

"I wanted to ask if you were okay with me making a care basket for your surrogate for transfer and leave it at the clinic. Some good luck things like pineapple core, yellow and green things, etc. Just want to send lots of good luck your way for this."

This just touched my heart so deeply. I told my husband who also admits to tearing up over this. We've had people we've never met reach out to us, donate to us so we could save for this, and even do things like help me find affordable hotel rooms. Things I am so incredibly grateful for and that literally seem to be a silver lining in this whole process. Even in the darkest of times there are still so many people in the world that are so wonderful, and I need to remember that always. I'm so thankful for all of the people in my life and all of the people I'm still meeting who already mean so much to me.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Newsflash: We Have a Transfer Date

So excited to say that we officially have a transfer date! Now to keep busy until September 5. Fortunately work has been incredibly busy and I'll be in my best friend's wedding in two weeks, so I have lots of things going on. 

I'd be lying if I didn't admit how extremely nervous I am for everything. Since we've run into everything from canceled cycles to chemical pregnancies, I don't want to get my hopes up. I do feel more hopeful than I have in a very long time, and I'm so incredibly grateful already for our wonderful surrogate. Hoping that the next few weeks fly by and that I have amazing news to report back soon!