Friday, February 25, 2011

Re-Blog: Nie Skis!

I know this isn't Twitter, but I'm "re-blogging" a post by one of my favorite bloggers, nienie. I hope that when I'm having a "woe is me" day I can watch this and remember that there are people out there overcoming unsurmountable obstacles.


This video is for all of my doctors, nurses, therapists, family

and friends who got me where I am today.

I just want those of you struggling and feeling trapped to know, there is HOPE.
I know.
I was in coma burned 80% and weighed like 50 pounds, and now I am living life to the fullest.
This movie is a testament to that.

Behold: Nie Skis!







Sunday, February 20, 2011

A Man, A Plan, A Canal, Panama

Ok, maybe not everything in the title exactly pertains to this post. Yes, there will be a man, we have a plan...there's a...birth canal...and, a celebratory trip to Panama?

Nevermind. Onward and upward to the plan.

March (the month we wage war against my body)

  • Provera -  To induce period
  • Progesterone Supplements - To help build my lining which will support implantation and hopefully, pregnancy
  • Clomid -100 mg. I've been taking 50mg the past two months and have gotten the greatness which is Clomid hot flashes and emotional irrationality. Can't wait to have that intensified. Can you sense my sarcasm? It's definitely there.


We're also going to have this bad boy on our side.
Apparently the CBEFM is like the Ferrari of OPK's. Fortunately we had Amazon.com certificates from Christmas we were able to use (these are not cheap). As much as I had been imagining spending my money on endless books, we thought a better shot at a baby made more sense. 

I'll also be going in to get more monitoring with blood work and ultrasounds. 

I found out this weekend that two girls I advised during college are now having their first and second kids. After I stopped eating the peanut butter directly from the fridge, I am starting to come to terms with the fact that yes, people around me are going to get pregnant. Yes, it will probably feel like they are doing it to me on purpose. In most cases, they are probably not. I am going to have to grow a thicker skin and deal with it. That doesn't mean I won't wince every time I find out that every fertile Myrtle on the block is knocked up, but I'm going to at least try. 

I'm also going to continue on my quest of eating better and working out (which has been going decently besides the mint ice cream and brownie shake I had after my appointment last week) and do whatever it takes to make March my bitch.

Friday, February 18, 2011

True Life: I went to a party school

I love participating in Kelly's Korner's "Show Us Your Life" posts! This one is about my alma mater. I went to San Diego State University. I chose SDSU because it was only a few hours from my parents and I was sold immediately on the good looking guys I saw on the tour of the gym.

My freshman year was tough. I'd never been away from home and I'd followed my high school boyfriend down to San Diego, so the first year was mostly us being together and not me making a ton of new friends (though my dorm mate was wonderful and still a dear friend).

My sophomore year I went through rush and joined Alpha Phi.

Rushing was one of the best decisions I've made. I can definitely say that I made my lifelong best friends in Alpha Phi, and have been given some amazing opportunities from being a member.

Most of my favorite memories include riding down the stairs of my sorority house on couch cushions, turning 21 and finally being able to go to Monty's, and truthfully, dancing my tail off at frat parties.



I have to say that even though I had a blast in college, I have benefitted from SDSU's amazing journalism program and the experiences that I got from my education. I do wish that I had gone to a school with a better football program and more school spirit, but I had an amazing time and don't regret my choice at all.

Any other aztecs out there?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Snow Days, Mustaches and Dog Friends

In the last two days we've had the largest amount of snow since we've moved here. On my way home, I found a huge black lab wandering in the middle of the road during the snowstorm. I immediately stopped my car in the street (sorry 10 cars behind me) and started calling to the dog to come over. I was on the phone with Mr. Bee in almost complete hysterics to come in the middle of the snow when I somehow convinced this dog to jump in my car.

I brought said new dog home with me unharmed. While trying to track down his owners, I spent the next three hours watching Ellie and Mr. Jake (the name on his collar) play in the snow, kiss, and try to "do it." Yes, this was a large, fully intact male dog who LOVED my little girl dog. Literally.



In happy news, I was able to reach his owner who was so grateful I had found his dog. He even brought over a bottle of wine for us. And we found out that Mr. Jake was 10 years old! We were thinking he was 3 or 4 - we were WAY off!! I'm always so happy when I find a dog and the owner is actually a good person and don't make me regret my decision to call them.

So now, Ellie is begging me for a brother and I really, really want to give in. How much harder could two dogs be than one (I can already see me in the future eating my words...)

Since we were too tired to make dinner after our adventure, we ended up going to Red Robin (I don't think I've ever been to one). The American Legion was there doing a fundraiser and they all had amazing mustaches. So of course, I had to do a fashion show with them. It was for a good cause.




And here are some snow pics:



Loving this weather!!


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Doctor Follow-Up

My doctor just gave me a call with my ultrasound results. Even though I had a positive on the ovulation predictor kit (OPK) she's not sure if I ovulated. I had many small follicles, but no large ones that would tell if I had ovulated. My lining was also only at 3.1, which is way too thin to conceive or sustain a pregnancy.

She wasn't sure why I got a positive on the OPK when it doesn't look like I ovulated or why I got 4 positives last month. She does want me to come by tomorrow to talk with her and also pick up some Progesterone supplements, which should increase my lining.

The doctor I spoke with yesterday told me that if I was her patient that she would send me to a reproductive expert. Since that's not covered by my insurance I've been really reluctant to go to an RE. If that happens to be the way that everything works out we will make it work, I just hope that my body comes through for us.   Mr. Bee has had his little guys checked and thankfully, all of that looks great. So even though that's amazing news, I know the problem is with me, and as reassuring as he is, I'm hating that it's my fault we don't have kids yet. I know that there is a right time for everything, that I am not the most patient person and that I am worlds ahead health-wise of where I was last year. I take nothing for granted, and even though I feel selfish for expecting more from life I can't help it. At least I'm aware of it, right?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Waiting for Bee

I'm kind of a blog addict. I have a regular blog and a Tumblr. I write for a living. Not writing about trying to get pregnant has been killing me, but as much as I want to share my trials and tribulations with my blog friends and connect with everyone about the issue I've been too scared to because I don't want my co-workers/boss/stalkers to know every intimate detail about my life. As much as I love to divulge.

Writing in a diary would be one thing, but I know that so many people out there struggle to get pregnant that I wanted to share my story and hear yours.

As a quick backstory, I've had health problems for the past few years. I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome in September of 2009 and have worked very hard to deal with my condition, which caused multiple hospital visits, months of being house-bound and general miserability. I'm not cured, but (knock on wood) I'm doing much, much better than anticipated, and much better than so many people who suffer from this condition.

After stopping my medication for my condition, I also stopped birth control pills in October of 2010. I had a few days of breakthrough bleeding after stopping, but never got a period again. After 60 days and multiple negative pregnancy tests, I went into my doctor who started me on Provera.

I originally went on birth control pills at 16 because of irregular periods, and my doctor was convinced that I don't ovulate. I was started on 50 mg. of Clomid and it was determined that I ovulated my first round, but never got a period after. Another million negative pregnancy tests later, I went back to my doctor who put me on another round of Provera and 50 mg. of Clomid.

This is my 2nd round, and after an ultrasound today, things don't look spectacular for this round either. I'm waiting for my doctor to review my results and will post more tomorrow, but the doctor I saw wasn't very impressed by my lack of follicles and lining.

Anyway, I'm not exactly what direction this blog is going to head, what sort of rambling I'll do and where this journey will take me. I do know that getting pregnant is not as easy as it sounds. If you ever doubt that, take a look at the Trying to Get Pregnant boards on TheBump.com.

I love my husband with all of my heart and have always wanted more than anything to be a mother. I can't wait to have a child with both of our looks and personality and watch him or her grow up into a spectacular human being. I'll step off of my soap box now, but thanks for letting me get everything off of my chest. I hope to have some good news to report sooner rather than later. Till then, I'll be waiting for Bee.

Happy Valentine's Day My Little Beelets!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm not a huge Valentine's person, but I think it's a fun holiday. I like any excuse to wear pink and listen to 80's love ballads. This year I decided to make Valentine's for all the people in my office - I forgot how much fun it is to fill out those little cards!


Ellie helped a little


And as for Valentine's plans, Mr. Bee is taking me out on a romantic date to JoeBob's Chicken Palace. Yes, he's getting gussied up in his finest western attire to hit up the finest restaurant in town.

This was my Valentine's gift to him. I call it "The Bees Through the Years." I'm just learning how to use iMovie, so it's a work in progress.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Living Room Inspiration

I have finally reached the pinnacle of adulthood - I've bought my first TV. Yes, our living room is now the home to a 42" flat screen today, which means the white TV/VCR combo I've had since I was 16 is probably going out to pasture.

I personally am not that huge on TV size or quality - my eyesight is so poor that more definition doesn't really do anything for me. However, I am excited to look for a new entertainment center, since our current one used to be my husband's shoe rack.

It's hard getting furniture piece-by-piece. All of the furniture we have is 2nd hand, and because of this nothing matches. Our current living room has a dark wood coffee table we found at a swap meet, my husband's grandpa's blue plaid couch, brown and white bookcases and our black media stand. It's a mess. And as much as I'd love to jump the gun and get a new stand ASAP I'm trying to evaluate what I'd like my potential adult-ish living room to look like and purchase accordingly.

I'm a huge fan of vintage, shabby chic and rustic styles. Below are some living room loves I keep in my "Home Inspiration" folder. Any tips on where to find affordable furniture or how the heck to start designing would be helpful!






Kind of a fan of this one:



Monday, February 7, 2011

Doggone Cute Posters

I'm moving offices next month, which means an excuse to update my work decor! As I was perusing the internet looking for motivational posters (not like the one below) I came across this amazing Etsy store which combines the adorability of dogs along with some of my favorite quotes.



Here are some of my favorites from Going Places shop:





My favorite is the Olde English Sheepdog, and she was able to pair it with my favorite quote, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is having a hard battle,"



Do you have any favorite personal items in your office?




Saturday, February 5, 2011

Fashion Loves: Secretariat

Last night, I admittedly watched the movie Secretariat for the sole reason of lusting over Diane Lane's outfits. And though I didn't love the movie (besides the horses and her clothes) it was worth it just to see her fabulous fashion finds.

Here are a few favorites:




And the brooch she wore during the movie:

You can buy the replica here 

Do you have any movies you'd watch solely to see the fashion? Not that it's a big surprise, but I also love You've Got Mail for Meg Ryan's clothes and adorable apartment, and Devil Wears Prada when I miss having bangs.


Friday, February 4, 2011

Wear Red!

Last year on Feb. 4th I was barely able to stand at the Cardiology office. This year I drove to work in heels. Hope everyone wore their red today to promote heart health!