Thursday, September 29, 2011

Favs for Fall

It's finally fall! Even though it's still in the 90s here, the weather forecast promises fall weather by Sunday. So I'm jumping the gun a little and putting down a few of my fall favorites:

I love tea. I probably drink 4 cups a day (decaf, or I get a little nutty). This my friends, is my favorite teapot of all time:


And perfect with an accompanying mug. I pity the fool who doesn't like this mug!!

I don't know if I'd buy anything for sure, but I love the idea of a Hello Kitty collection for Forever 21. I think the cardigan is adorable. Coming to a store near you this November. 

I've already made 3 batches of Trader Joes' Pumpkin Muffins. These are the best, and super easy to make. They're also amazing with chocolate chips. I'm swearing off of gluten, but I love to bake these so my house smells good. 

Fall candles from Bath and Body works! My house smells delicious!

What are your favs for fall so far?

Still here

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I got bad news. September has been rough. I've spent a lot of days mad, a lot of time crying, and a lot of time thinking. And it's finally getting easier. I feel like a crazy person for admitting that I've basically been a loony, crying machine, but this blog is all about brutal honesty.

After my last post on here I finagled my way into getting the autoimmune and blood-clotting tests. $1200 later, everything came back negative. Which is great news. And also not great news because it either means it's a chromosome issue, something else, or who knows. But it could've just been bad luck, and that's better than hearing that something is horribly wrong with me and I can't have kids at all.

I went into my doctor today and we discussed moving forward with another FET cycle. We'd be changing up my protocol and doing absolutely no shots, which my poor butt is very thankful for. I'd be doing oral Estrogen and a Progesterone gel.

As badly as I want to start things going as soon as possible for a late October transfer, I am still having second thoughts. I want to make sure that I'm physically and emotionally ready for this again. I'm starting acupuncture next week and I've cut gluten back out of my diet (I have a gluten sensitivity). I spent two days last week in urgent care and the ER for my other medical issues and I've been dealing with an on-going cold, viral thing, so I want that gone before I embark on another crazy cycle.

So anyway, I'm still here.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Buzz on: Express Suits

This post brought to you by Express. All opinions are 100% mine.

EXPRESSOne of the reasons I'm so excited for fall is that I can finally wear suits again. Not kidding. There's no way to not feel like a badass wearing a suit to work. Most of my suits are from Express, because they don't feel old-ladyish, or like you just transported from the 80s complete with giant shoulder pads. They're fitted (without being revealing) and usually have cute details like a leopard print pattern on the inside that people wouldn't normally see, but you feel cooler knowing it's there.

I'm not going to lie - I've nailed every interview I've had in an Express suit. Plus, they're cute enough that you can go directly from getting that job to happy hour for the celebration afterwards.

For all you worker bees or people who just like to look exceptional, Express is giving away a $500 suiting makeover!

Enter Express sweepstakes  here

So whether you have an important interview coming up or just want to dazzle people during a work presentation, this is the perfect opportunity to get your suit wardrobe squared away for whatever life throws at you.

Do you have to wear suits to work, or is your job more casual? What kind of suits do you like to wear?

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Thanks for the birthday love!

Thank you guys so much for the birthday love!! If you're friends with me on Facebook or Twitter, you know that I spent the day fulfilling my lifelong wish...of getting my picture taken in a giant claw machine.

I'll be on soon to update, but so far 28 is pretty great!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Things I'm grateful for

Things haven't been really fun lately, so I'm writing a "things I'm grateful for" post so I remember that things are actually good in the world.

Things I am grateful for:

My family

My kitties and doggies

Having a good job
Not being as sick as I was

Amazing friends

Living close to farms and cows

Owning a car
Being a part of philanthropic groups like Junior League and Alpha Phi
Tea from a kettle
Steam cleaning vacuums
Having an office with a wall of windows
Cloudy days

Oversized sweaters and boots
Fun office supplies
Guitars with mustaches

Down comforters
Sign twirlers who really like their job
Fall shoes

Good smelling candles
Living close to San Francisco

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Things are tough

First of all, I want to thank all of you for taking the time to write me on here and read my rambling. I've been really depressed about all of this, and your comments mean the world to me.

Today I had my WTF happened appointment at the clinic. My doctor sat me down and said that he and everyone else in the office were positive I would have gotten pregnant. My lining looked good, the embryos looked amazing, it was an easy transfer, and everything was perfect.

Since things didn't go well, there's a few things that he wants to check. I've never been pregnant before, so there is a chance that I have implantation failure. They will do a panel of tests to see if I have antibodies that would be killing the embryos. If this is the case, I would be put on Heparin to treat and remain on for the entire pregnancy.

There is also a chance that I have a chromosomal issue. It's a small chance, but it's still there. The way to deal with that is to run a genetic panel on me, then run a genetic panel on all of the embryos to match ones that don't have the chromosome issue and implant those.

Or, I could just be unlucky. Or it could be my underlying POTS issues and low blood pressure. There is a medical saying that when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras. I have always been a medical zebra. In addition, Mr. Bee just started a new job, which means that even though his insurance didn't cover anything fertility-related, my insurance is even worse. I'm waiting for an estimate on getting the immune panel done, but the initial lab costs are over $3K.

I'm not going to sugar coat this - this sucks. I'm having issues seeing pregnant teens, cute families, and listening to people telling me I just need to relax, that it's God's will, to have more hope or even to get a bottle of wine and go away for the weekend. I dread opening my Google Reader and seeing pregnancy updates and cute baby photos. I know life isn't fair. I know that life is so much more unfair for other people. But this is really hard for me and for Mr. Bee. I would not wish this on anyone.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Where is my accent vlog?

I know most of you have seen the awesome "Accent Vlogs" that are posted on everyone's blog. I promise that I really did try to make them, but my doggies foiled me every time.


I can guarantee that you would've been completely confused by my "accent". I was born in Minnesota, lived in Connecticut and California and now Nevada. My mom is from Oklahoma and my dad is from New Jersey, and somewhere in all of that the way I pronounce things has taken on a life of its own. And my vision is so bad that even with my glasses on I'm squinting to read the computer screen. So please just thank me for not trying to post an accent vlog.


Monday, September 5, 2011

Blog Sale! Lilly Pulitzer, Hudson Jeans, the Kitchen Sink!

Help support my funds for fertility treatment and buy my clothes! Sorry in advance for the photo quality - I took pictures on my camera but can't find the cord to attach it and transfer the photos to my computer.

Love all of these gems that were hidden in my closet, but not wearing them. Will you love them? Write me at if there's anything you want. Prices are all negotiable! I also have a few pairs of Express Editor pants in size 4L if interested.

Lilly Pulitzer Kimball Dress, size 4
$65 shipped

Lilly Pulitzer Shauna Tunic dress, size 10 
$85 shipped

Lilly Pulitzer Tube Dress, size 10
$50 shipped

Ralph Lauren Wool Tartan Dress - Size 6 (runs small)
$40 shipped

Lilly Pulitzer Shift Dress -Size 4
$35 shipped

Close-up of print

Lilly Pulitzer Pineapple Skirt - Size 4

Ed Hardy Sunglasses - $50 shipped

Chanel Sunglasses - Well-loved. Scratches on lenses, small scratches on frames. 
$70 shipped

Hudson Jeans, size 27
$30 shipped
Bootcut, Style # 170SD

Tiffany and Co. Jewelry roll - never used. $75

Friday, September 2, 2011

Sorry, No Good News

Beta was negative. I'll have to do a repeat beta on Tuesday, but there's really no chance at this point. I have no idea when I'll be able to afford to try again. I'll probably stop blogging on here for a bit just because there's really nothing to blog about at this point. Thanks for sticking with me and for all of the good thoughts today, I appreciate it!