Thursday, August 18, 2011

Overwhelmed

My transfer is in exactly one week. FETs are supposed to be so much easier than IVF because there is less stress going into things. I have not had an easy past few weeks.

Besides some major drama going on at my work (thankfully none that affected my job stability as far as I know), my last monitoring appointment was not the best. My doctor would have liked to have seen my lining at an 8. It was a 5. They put me on more Estrace along with my injections and also recommended that I go on Nitro patches to get more blood flow to my uterus. Unfortunately because of my POTS Syndrome, a Nitro patch could have made me very, very sick.

I went to another monitoring appointment on Tuesday. The nurse practitioner told me that my lining had not gotten much better at all, and that it was at about a 6. They were still looking for an 8. I met with my IVF coordinator and she talked to me about the possibility of pushing my transfer back. They could only push it back a few days, otherwise they would have to think about canceling. I was devastated.

Later that day, they called and said that the nurse practitioner had actually misread my scan and it was actually at a 6.7, meaning I was ok to proceed. I was so amazingly grateful, but so mad that I had gone through all of those emotions for no reason.

Because of my POTS Syndrome, I get dehydrated really easily and have low blood pressure. When I checked my BP the other day it was around 90/68 and my sitting pulse was around 100. I ended up in Urgent Care yesterday to get IV fluids, which hasn't left me feeling much better. Then around 5:30 this morning I got a call from my mom. She had hurt her back yesterday. Apparently later that afternoon she was in so much pain that she passed out and hit her head on the bathroom floor and also broke her ankle. My mom has never had major health problems and never broken a bone. I absolutely hate that I am not there with her right now. She has to have surgery to fix her ankle now.

The timing of everything is crappy. I've been so stressed out and so worried that all of this isn't going to work out. I have faith, and I know that God's timing is perfect and that he has an ultimate plan for all of this. That's really the only thing getting me through this week. That and my amazing friend, Juliana, who has been battling POTS, heart problems, Lyme disease, and a ton of other serious ailments and has been in such bad shape. She is my hero and I always think of her and how she makes it through every day. Seriously, my life is a cake walk when I think of her and everything she goes through.

Sorry for my long, rant-y post. I'm just scared and stressed and worried.

5 comments:

  1. I wish I could hug you right now. I've been thinking about you lately, but now I'm also going to start "thinking thick" for you. I agree that God's timing is perfect, even when it seems unfair. Life has been crazy lately for a lot of people I know, not sure why everyone seems to be having a rough time lately (me included). I wish I had the right words to say to uplift you and give you strength, but I can't find them without seeming generic and cliche. All I can do is pray for you, so I will. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. :( I love you! Try to escape it all this weekend. Pretend like you're a kid again with no responsibilities and do something fun and silly. And don't stress about work. What will be will be!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey girl! YAY!! I'm so happy and excited for you:-) do NOT stress... You and I both know that's never good for conception!! Good luck girl I can't wait to see the results!!:-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ohhh you have had a ton going on :( I'm so very happy to hear that you've been approved to proceed with the transfer. Hoping and praying that everything goes great. I'll be thinking about you a ton during the next week or so. Good luck!!

    Also hope that your mom is feeling better in no time!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thinking about you today!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete