Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Back on Birth Control

So it sounds counterintuitive, but I'm back on Birth Control Pills. I hate it and so does my complexion (holy breakout).

I had done a bunch of reading online about cysts and almost everyone who had dealt with it had gone on birth control to stop the growth and prevent new ones. My doctor didn't bring this up, so I called and asked if it was something I should be doing. His nurse called me back and said that they almost always prescribe them and I should start right away. I really wish they had told me at my appointment and not two weeks after, but I hope that being an advocate for myself pays off.

My next appointment is April 7th, but his nurse mentioned that they might want me to wait until I finish the pack of pills before coming back in to be checked.

So to deal with all of my inner turmoil, I got a new puppy! That's the responsible thing to do, right? It's definitely taking my mind off of trying to conceive. He's a great practice baby. I don't think I've slept in the past week. I must say between the breakouts and lack of sleep I look fantastic!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Meet Tucker

Sorry I've been MIA! Meet Tucker - our new four-month old puppy. He's half-lab, half-basset hound, and lots of cuddliness!

He and his big sister Eleanor have been having a great time so far!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

I Made This and Didn't Die Recipes: Slow Cooker Southwestern Chicken

Just like the title - I made this and so far no one has come down with food poisoning. The chicken came out amazingly moist and had a ton of flavor. And, it was gluten-free! I found this recipe on The only thing I might skip is the cheddar cheese - honestly, you really don't need it. It has a ton of flavor without.

Oh, and I used frozen chicken breasts. Literally just put them in the slow cooker and made them do all the work. Hurray for Costco!

Southwestern Chicken


    2-16 oz. cans of sweet corn, drained 1-16 oz. can black beans, rinsed and drained 1-16 oz. jar of salsa (mild-hot, your preference) 3 whole boneless, skinless chicken breasts 1 cup low fat or fat free shredded cheddar cheese


Combine corn, black beans and 1/2 cup of salsa in the slow cooker.
Place chicken breasts on top.
Pour remaining salsa over the chicken.
Cover and cook 7-8 hours on low or 3-4 hours on high.
Sprinkle with cheese to serve.
Makes 6 nice size portions.
(The first time I made it it got dry so I didn't drain the corn the second time and it turned out just fine - depends on how hot your slow cooker gets on the low setting).

Number of Servings: 6

Friday, March 18, 2011

Shop + Donate

Need a GREAT excuse to shop? Forever 21 is donating 100% of their online proceeds today to Japan relief funds!

Perfect time to get some things for the warm weather and your spring wardrobe while donating to a good cause! Don't worry, you can thank me later.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Fun with genetic testing

Today I registered my Genetic Testing kit. Yes, my doctor gave me a kit to make sure that I'm not a carrier for any crazy diseases since my mom's side of the family is Ashkenazi Jew. The kit tests for over 100+ genetic diseases including Maple Syrup Urine Disease.

Ok, I'm sure that it's a very serious disease, but I definitely laughed when I saw that.

It's not a blood test (breathe a sigh of relief if you hate needles), you literally spit into a tube (cringe if you hate bodily fluids as a whole). Then you send your tube in the mail and 2-3 weeks later you find out if you're a carrier for any of these frightening sounding diseases. I'd definitely rather know than be surprised, especially since my husband can be tested too if I do turn out to be a carrier for anything.

And as far as Cystie goes, I haven't had as much pain lately, so I'm really hoping that it's quickly shrinking and going away, and not just waiting to burst. I told Mr. Bee yesterday that I feel like I'm in the movie Saw just waiting for it to burst. I think that grossed him out. I know it's probably not a big deal, but it really freaks me out that something is taking up my small, tiny torso. I was going to write "something the size of a ______ is inside of me," but I googled "2 inches is the size of" and all that came up was micropenis. And that is when this conversation should end.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Making it easy to donate to Japan

The devastation in Japan is no doubt on everyone's mind. The easiest way to help is to donate to the Red Cross (HERE).

I've also found a few small shops who are donating some or all of their sales to help the victims in Japan. No guilt trips from me about donating, just making it easier for you.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

RE Results = More Whining (Not Winning)

Good news: New doctor seems great. Knows about Pots Syndrome, lots of experience, put me at ease and seems very knowledgeable. Ultrasound showed that my ovaries, cervix and uterus all looked normal.

Bad news: They did an ultrasound and found a 2-inch cyst on or right next to my ovary. I'm going to be monitored for it the next two months and pray that it goes away on its own. Otherwise he thinks my best option would be to have surgery to remove it.

He seems to think that it may have been brought on by the Clomid, and that my doctor didn't look for it in my last ultrasound, which makes me so mad that I'm now dealing with this and will have to wait until it's gone to start trying again.

My future game plan is to wait until it's gone, try Femara instead of Clomid because of the fewer side effects and because it doesn't affect your lining, and go in for constant monitoring. I'm so glad I went with my gut and made this appointment. I've been having pain in my side for a few weeks now, and I'm glad I'm at least aware of it.

Not going to lie, I am really bummed out.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

How to Fire your OB

I found my OBGYN the normal way. I looked at Yelp reviews, scoured different websites, and ultimately found my doctor by choosing her because she had a good name. And she went to University of Minnesota (I was born in Minneapolis).

She's nice, but young. Even after my first appointment with her I felt uncomfortable. Not that she herself made me feel uncomfortable, but her lack of knowledge about things did not put me at ease. She had to Google a bunch of things that I thought a doctor should have known.

Most recently, I had a Progesterone test to see if I had ovulated, since the ultrasound I had mid-cycle determined that it didn't look like I ovulated. I waited a long time to get the results, and got them from my doctor's assistant, who had no real information for me, just that the doctor said I ovulated but the number was really low (4.3). I asked what that meant and she asked another doctor who did not understand my doctor's notes.

I asked her to please have my doctor call me back to explain things. It's been over a week. One thing that she did mention was that she did not want to monitor me during Clomid. I've take 50mg every month, and this month I'm going to 100mg. I'm very uncomfortable with her just telling me to come back in a month after this cycle is over. I'm overly annoyed that she hasn't called me back yet.

I don't doubt that doctors are busy. My grandpa was an OBGYN, so I have a good idea of the hours and amount of work they have. I also have high expectations for doctors. I've had so many bad doctors who have prevented me from getting better that I truly value doctors who are invested in getting me better and take active interest in me.  Over a week is a mighty long time to have you start medication when you haven't even gotten your official test results back.

So, I think I'm going to fire my doctor. I'm hoping that the RE can recommend a great doctor out here that I can move to quickly. Then I'll have to send the awkward breakup letter. Or is that only in relationships?

Family Matters

So last night before bed Mr. Bee got a call from his mom, telling him that his aunt is pregnant. 

Backstory: Story on her is that she is only a few years older than Mr. Bee. She married his uncle probably 2 years before we got married. His uncle already has a 15-year-old son, and they have a four-year-old together. They're all very nice and a great couple together. 

So about two months ago, we got a call that L was pregnant. Unfortunately she had a miscarriage a few weeks later. She got pregnant again maybe not even a month after she miscarried. Of course, I'm very happy for her. Her son A is adorable, and she's a great mom. 

Flash-forward to last night after getting the call. Immediately, I feel jealous. Why does she get to be so fertile? She already has a kid and a stepson. Can she leave some babies for me? It's supposed to be my turn. Wahh Wahh Wahh.

Then there is the inevitable guilt. L is a great mom and I'm so happy that she has the opportunity to have another child. Why do I feel so guilty that she gets to have another baby when I haven't had my first?

So many infertility blogs out there are so upbeat. I hope that mine is not all whining and complaining. I try to be optimistic, but at the same time I have real feelings that I'm having to deal with.


Mr. Bee comes home from work. Totally upset. He said that he spent most of the day thinking about how envious he was of his uncle and how sad he is about this situation. He's in my boat! But wait, do I want him to be in my sad boat of guilt and grief? Can we request a happy boat?

I think we talked through a few things and we're trying not to freak out until we go to the RE on Thursday (could that day seem any further away?) I'm praying that we'll get good news at our appointment and can continue trying (hopefully successfully) without much intervention.

I love having a supportive husband and knowing that we can talk about our feelings and frustrations and at the end of the night everything is ok. We are a family. Right now we are only a family of us, a dog and two cats, but hopefully it will grow in the near future. 

I have so much hope. I've gone through so much with my health and I feel like I can overcome this too. I don't know why god has chosen this path for me, but maybe it really is that good things come to those who wait. I'm learning patience while waiting for the one thing I want the most. 

Monday, March 7, 2011

RIP Hair Straightener

This morning, to my frizzy hair's dismay, my hair straightener bit the dust. It looks like ponytails are a go for the next few days. I know that there's a ton of straighteners on the market, and I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to brand. I have pretty straight hair so I don't need it to work miracles, just take the kinks out.

Any suggestions?

RIP Straighty 

Friday, March 4, 2011

Throwing a wrench in my plans

So I've been waiting for a call from my doctor since last Friday. Once I got the call from her assistant yesterday I had a lot of questions, most of which she couldn't answer. The biggest being why my OB suddenly decided I shouldn't be monitored at all during this round of Clomid. No bloodwork, no ultrasound, no nothing.

Honestly, there is a language barrier between me and the assistant, and maybe the situation is not as bad as I'm making it out to be, but since it's not cleared up and the massive amounts of crazy pills in my body are making me...well...crazy..I called an RE and made an appointment for next week.

I'm scared to go to a fertility doc and feel lame especially going after only trying for 6 months, but with all of my health issues and the quality of care I'm going through right now I feel like I need to advocate for myself and make sure that I'm getting the best care possible.

So next week is my first RE appointment. I feel so much better going to an expert before doing this other round of Clomid. Since you can only take Clomid so many times and I've already used it twice unsuccessfully I'd rather rule out anything else that could be getting in the way than to keep going through bust cycles.

Thank God for my husband who is putting up with my crazy side effects and lovely mood swings. He is a saint.

Etsy Love: ManStuff

If you're like me, you haven't heard of many guys with Etsy stores. And if you're in my boat, I'm going to rock your world with my dear friend David's Etsy store, ManStuffHis bio reads, "ManStuff specializes in vintage menswear, clothing accessories, electronics, office and housewares. We strive to provide interesting and hard to find pieces."

And lucky for you gals, you can get 30% off your entire purchase before March 16 with the coupon code VEGAS. Yes, this is all to help my dear friend pay for what is sure to be an epic Vegas trip. With one-man wolfpacks and all of that fun stuff. 

Here's some personal favs:

There's some amazing finds in there - please give his shop a look-through!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Stage 3: Shock and Awe

My day 25 labs came back the other day. My Progesterone was only 1.8. On Day 25. 

So we're going forward in Part 3 of the Clomid Saga: Shock and Awe. 

Yesterday I started Provera to bring on my period and also Crinone (a progesterone supplement) that will help build my lining so that when I (hopefully) ovulate this month the lining will be thick enough for implantation and then sustaining a healthy pregnancy.

I've never heard of anyone taking these two at the same time and can't find anything on Google, so hopefully my doctor is confident in her treatment plan.

I feel like I need Charlie Sheen to come over and bless this round with some winning Tiger Blood. 

Living the Dream: Finding Dining Room Chairs

I did it - I found my perfect dining room chairs. As Mr. Bee and I were perusing Goodwill the other day for dining room chairs we both spotted these at the same time and immediately ran back and claimed them. We got 7 chairs total and a table (which we donated back). The only issue is that while four of them are this gorgeous blue and grey damask pattern, 3 of them are baby puke green.

We went to JoAnn's to find a great fabric to go with it and didn't fall in love with anything except the fabric below, which we'd need to recover all the chairs in.

The other option that we talked about is re-covering them in a chocolate brown microsuede. We'd go with the light grey, but with animals and potential future Bees in the future, light colors are probably not the best idea. Anyone have any suggestions?